I like what you said about reincarnation being not past lives (in the traditional Buddhist sense) but this life reinvented. I've started over more than once, including recently. My motto is "the only tense is future." The past has passed; the present is like an arrow in flight -- if you reach up to grab it, it's already gone. That leaves the future. There are two ways to deal with it. Sit back and let it come to you and do with you what it will (which isn't much), or reach out and try to shape it into what you want it to be. A therapist told me that years ago, and it's how I've tried to live my life since. It's amazing how many doors open when you do that. Cheers.
Thank you for sharing this whole story, now we know where you started, your motivations to move, and the final push to you and Cristina... I'm glad you decided to do it together (and chose to move south to the best country for it). I wonder what your "past self" would say to Damon of Today...
Thank you for reading and contributing to the convo, and fun question!
Guess it depends on which version of Damon we’re talking about. Each day seems to end with a different one than it began with. It’s a day full of reincarnation.
Drinking Damon would make a joke about this sober version being a “quitter.” That version would also be shocked about the move to Mexico. He would be curious enough to wonder how both came to pass, but might not have the courage (or would be too self-consumed) to actually ask.
I so enjoyed reading this Damon. There are so many variables and invisibles in life. There's no way anyone else will ever know what it's like to live another's life. Heck, we may don't fully understand how we've lived our own lives.
Starting over is hard and especially so in an environment that is so focused on individuals and the equity each of them 'creates'.
I imagine there would be less shame when starting over if this weren't the case.
How interesting would it be to live in a society where re-invention and starting over was encouraged and supported? And we would all get to live many different lives.
And I take your point. Agreed. Normalizing starting over was my secret goal here I think. I also think starting over gets easier when we see how much we're actually doing it, but just not admitting it to ourselves. Like, it's okay. This (actually) is the way.
This view on karma, dharma, and the constant reincarnation aligns nicely with the Christian mystical perspective on birth, death, and resurrection. When we inquire deeply enough, we find that rather than resurrection being a one-time historical event, it is instead a constant resurrection of the ever-unfolding now.
The only question ever is whether we will surrender to that constant dying to be reborn, or resist.
Which does seem to imply a level of agency that gets murky in the investigation of who we really are.
Actually, I love that you bring up agency. I spend a lot of time on the subject, but I tend to tread carefully on expressing what I think I know. It can get a little messy, you know?
Anyway, I'm feeling bold so here goes...
It seems that choice is a thing. We do have choice to surrender.
The harder thing to know if why would we choose that (or why might we NOT choose that if that's the case). The underlying force(s) for why we make the choices we make are mysterious when we interrogate them.
This challenges any sense of agency we might want to have. Especially if every choice ultimately tracks back to birth, as in who we were born to, and how we were raised. It seems clear we didn't choose any of that. (I realize the new age folks would argue we do, and they may be right, but I'm skeptical.)
Also, there's a problem with my claim "we didn't choose." Who is this we? And as non-dualist (yes, I realize the irony in that statement), we have to wonder who is this "me" or "we" who would have the agency in the first place?
Unfoldment seems to lift so much of this. Just know the way a flower can only open the way it does.
Love this, Damon. And your last line is a mic-dropper.
Frankly, this is why I can get behind Steve March's macro-perspectives on where Aletheia coaching fits into our current global moment. His perspective is inherently ecological, and I find that to be a more skillful way to approach the question of free will and agency.
A flower exists in an ecosystem. It has a role to play, and needs to be met that can only be met by other entities in the ecosystem. In fact, a flower IS an ecosystem, embedded in ecosystems.
That means that there are so many things that happen that can only be guided by the inherent wisdom of Nature.
And yet, there's a speck of agency in there - but I believe the agency is more in how Being is embodied in the moment, not necessarily the "autonomous agency" of free will that's normally being pointed to.
So it is with humans - ecologies embedded in other ecologies, constantly responding to the world without and within, often imperceptibly.
More to say, but I'll stop there. Thanks for the fruitful conversation, brother of mine.
So much good stuff in this post that I relate with!
My husband and I have even talked about eventually retiring to Costa Rica!
I'm almost 50 as well. I also have spent the past 12 years learning to start over.
Like you, I was a copywriter for the past 12 years, and lost my love for writing from working to get paid for it. And I became a stress management coach in the past 2 years because of a life-changing situation I went through starting in 2017.
Only recently have I rediscovered my love for writing I've had since I was a child after an extensive break.
Learning the lesson of meditation, that it's the art of the practice not perfecting the practice.
And I just published a substack newsletter last week about accepting who we are now versus a previous version that I think goes in line with this post.
I'm in love with these parts from your post:
"Most recently, when almost ten years of grinding as an independent writer and copywriter culminated in the admission I felt unfulfilled by that work, I knew what I had to do."
"If the last 12 years have been anything, they’ve been a lesson in starting over, and then starting over again."
"To persevere in the practice, one learns to start over."
"What matters is that we give ourselves the permission to begin again."
This was fun feedback to read. Kind words, Dawn. Thank you.
To answer your opening question, maybe? The more time I spend with non-dualism, the more I see that other people as something closer to expressions of this apparent self. It's hard to walk around with that in mind. I reliably default to objectifying everything, including this illusion of self, but there are moments where this seems more clear as a matter of experience. But that may be a whole bunch of spooky sounding talk. It certainly would be to most earlier versions of this person.
Anyway, cheers again, and thank you for the quotes. I'll be peeping your Substack, Dawn.
I know exactly what you mean and it's not weird to me. I believe we are all reflections of each other and reflections of the universe as a whole. Collective Consciousness. Like attracts like. That sort of thing. 😊
You taught me, “just take a step, and then another…” It resonates the same with me as starting over. A step is another chance to do it again.
Nice. And each step can really be a whole life if we think about it.
I like what you said about reincarnation being not past lives (in the traditional Buddhist sense) but this life reinvented. I've started over more than once, including recently. My motto is "the only tense is future." The past has passed; the present is like an arrow in flight -- if you reach up to grab it, it's already gone. That leaves the future. There are two ways to deal with it. Sit back and let it come to you and do with you what it will (which isn't much), or reach out and try to shape it into what you want it to be. A therapist told me that years ago, and it's how I've tried to live my life since. It's amazing how many doors open when you do that. Cheers.
Paul, I so appreciate your reflection here. Thank you for joining the conversation.
Thank you for sharing this whole story, now we know where you started, your motivations to move, and the final push to you and Cristina... I'm glad you decided to do it together (and chose to move south to the best country for it). I wonder what your "past self" would say to Damon of Today...
Thank you for reading and contributing to the convo, and fun question!
Guess it depends on which version of Damon we’re talking about. Each day seems to end with a different one than it began with. It’s a day full of reincarnation.
Drinking Damon would make a joke about this sober version being a “quitter.” That version would also be shocked about the move to Mexico. He would be curious enough to wonder how both came to pass, but might not have the courage (or would be too self-consumed) to actually ask.
I too, learned a lot, just watching you. LOL
Right. Like, there's a wall I won't run into. Thanks, D!
I so enjoyed reading this Damon. There are so many variables and invisibles in life. There's no way anyone else will ever know what it's like to live another's life. Heck, we may don't fully understand how we've lived our own lives.
Starting over is hard and especially so in an environment that is so focused on individuals and the equity each of them 'creates'.
I imagine there would be less shame when starting over if this weren't the case.
How interesting would it be to live in a society where re-invention and starting over was encouraged and supported? And we would all get to live many different lives.
Thank you, Lynn. I take this as high praise.
And I take your point. Agreed. Normalizing starting over was my secret goal here I think. I also think starting over gets easier when we see how much we're actually doing it, but just not admitting it to ourselves. Like, it's okay. This (actually) is the way.
This view on karma, dharma, and the constant reincarnation aligns nicely with the Christian mystical perspective on birth, death, and resurrection. When we inquire deeply enough, we find that rather than resurrection being a one-time historical event, it is instead a constant resurrection of the ever-unfolding now.
The only question ever is whether we will surrender to that constant dying to be reborn, or resist.
Which does seem to imply a level of agency that gets murky in the investigation of who we really are.
But that’s a comment for another time.
Actually, I love that you bring up agency. I spend a lot of time on the subject, but I tend to tread carefully on expressing what I think I know. It can get a little messy, you know?
Anyway, I'm feeling bold so here goes...
It seems that choice is a thing. We do have choice to surrender.
The harder thing to know if why would we choose that (or why might we NOT choose that if that's the case). The underlying force(s) for why we make the choices we make are mysterious when we interrogate them.
This challenges any sense of agency we might want to have. Especially if every choice ultimately tracks back to birth, as in who we were born to, and how we were raised. It seems clear we didn't choose any of that. (I realize the new age folks would argue we do, and they may be right, but I'm skeptical.)
Also, there's a problem with my claim "we didn't choose." Who is this we? And as non-dualist (yes, I realize the irony in that statement), we have to wonder who is this "me" or "we" who would have the agency in the first place?
Unfoldment seems to lift so much of this. Just know the way a flower can only open the way it does.
Love this, Damon. And your last line is a mic-dropper.
Frankly, this is why I can get behind Steve March's macro-perspectives on where Aletheia coaching fits into our current global moment. His perspective is inherently ecological, and I find that to be a more skillful way to approach the question of free will and agency.
A flower exists in an ecosystem. It has a role to play, and needs to be met that can only be met by other entities in the ecosystem. In fact, a flower IS an ecosystem, embedded in ecosystems.
That means that there are so many things that happen that can only be guided by the inherent wisdom of Nature.
And yet, there's a speck of agency in there - but I believe the agency is more in how Being is embodied in the moment, not necessarily the "autonomous agency" of free will that's normally being pointed to.
So it is with humans - ecologies embedded in other ecologies, constantly responding to the world without and within, often imperceptibly.
More to say, but I'll stop there. Thanks for the fruitful conversation, brother of mine.
The thanks is for you, brother.
Love your perspective!
Oh my goodness, are you me?
So much good stuff in this post that I relate with!
My husband and I have even talked about eventually retiring to Costa Rica!
I'm almost 50 as well. I also have spent the past 12 years learning to start over.
Like you, I was a copywriter for the past 12 years, and lost my love for writing from working to get paid for it. And I became a stress management coach in the past 2 years because of a life-changing situation I went through starting in 2017.
Only recently have I rediscovered my love for writing I've had since I was a child after an extensive break.
Learning the lesson of meditation, that it's the art of the practice not perfecting the practice.
And I just published a substack newsletter last week about accepting who we are now versus a previous version that I think goes in line with this post.
I'm in love with these parts from your post:
"Most recently, when almost ten years of grinding as an independent writer and copywriter culminated in the admission I felt unfulfilled by that work, I knew what I had to do."
"If the last 12 years have been anything, they’ve been a lesson in starting over, and then starting over again."
"To persevere in the practice, one learns to start over."
"What matters is that we give ourselves the permission to begin again."
You gained a subscriber in me!
This was fun feedback to read. Kind words, Dawn. Thank you.
To answer your opening question, maybe? The more time I spend with non-dualism, the more I see that other people as something closer to expressions of this apparent self. It's hard to walk around with that in mind. I reliably default to objectifying everything, including this illusion of self, but there are moments where this seems more clear as a matter of experience. But that may be a whole bunch of spooky sounding talk. It certainly would be to most earlier versions of this person.
Anyway, cheers again, and thank you for the quotes. I'll be peeping your Substack, Dawn.
I know exactly what you mean and it's not weird to me. I believe we are all reflections of each other and reflections of the universe as a whole. Collective Consciousness. Like attracts like. That sort of thing. 😊
Thank you, Matthew. Would love to discuss with you offline, but I appreciate you for reading and commenting. Much love, brother.